Happy Friday night! Here are a few cool and funny period things to start your weekend with some giggles. (And we all know you especially need some if you're on your period over the weekend.)
If guys who know nothing about periods and tampons made a commercial for tampons, this is what would happen:
Aaaand a dash of cool. Here's a video game created by two women wherein the weapon is...tampons! YES.
Disclosure: This post contains affiliate links, which means I make money
if you click on the links and buy. But no pressure because I'm just
glad you're here!
I entered. I hope I win. Which means I probably shouldn't tell you about it because if you enter it lowers my chances, but the spirit of the season is generosity so...
Have at it. It's easy. There are a bunch of quick things you can do to enter more points. Just follow the "giveaway" link above!
By the way, this is my first time hearing about the sea sponge tampon. My initial thought was:
And can you imagine using Spongebob as a tampon?
But actually, they look much less ridiculous. Like this:
Click to see the product.
Whether or not I win this giveaway, you'll hear back from me again about these. Because if I don't win, I'm buying some. I have to try these. Especially because TTC has opened my eyes to how much crap we put into our bodies, especially chemicals through personal items we use every day. I'm getting into natural products, so I no longer use conventional pads and tampons with all their harmful additives and chemicals. Instead I've been using the silicone (Lunette) menstrual cup, which I love! You can read my review here. These sponges sound just as amazing except maybe even easier since the cup can be a bit annoying to have open all the way once it's inserted.
Please visit the giveaway link to read the twelve reasons why you should try the sea sponge tampon. It really is almost nothing like Spongebob.
I can't wait to post a review for this product in the new year!
Have you tried the sea sponge tampon? How do you like it? What other natural products have you tried?
Comment below or contact me on Twitter, Facebook, or by email at jessie(dot)mullins5(at)gmail(dot)com
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Update: Even though the giveaway is long over, you can still buy these for practically a steal. Click on the picture below to buy two sea sponge tampons (that you can reuse again and again) for only $10 plus $5 shipping. Try it with me?
I read a blog post about sex and marriage that came up on my Pinterest feed. In this post was the word "clitoris". What a gem, the clitoris. Except in the post, the word looked like this:
"Cl*tor*s"
As if it's a naughty word. Hint: It's not!
Here's a friendly reminder to everyone that the female anatomy is not dirty. Or shameful. You don't need to bleep it out or use cutesy little nicknames or hide certain letters. Same with male anatomy, but people don't seem to be as freaked out about le peen*.
Because the words for female anatomy are just as worthy of being used properly as the elbow or the ear lobe, here's a video clip from Grey's Anatomy that I love way too much.
*Yes, I know I just used a cutesy nickname for the penis. Oops.
There are a few important things I didn't learn in sex ed. I don't know if these things weren't covered or if I happened to blink a second too long when they showed that slide or what. For the record, I don't think I blinked. Sex Ed was the best part of health class. Even though I pretended to be uninterested like everyone else, like yeah, whatever, I don't even care...
I never learned:
1. How to chart your cycle.
For some reason I left middle and high school sex ed classes believing my period should arrive "around the same time every month". How vague is that? This often left me caught off guard. I eventually learned my lesson, though I guess not the right lesson, and wore a lot of pads in the week leading up to my expected period. It wasn't until I got married and started thinking about ovulation that I realized I didn't know when in the month that happened. I read up on it, and learned so much about menstrual cycles. I finally started charting my period the right way instead of, "Uhh, I think it's sometimes that week..."In lieu of writing you an entire book on the menstrual cycle, I made you a video tutorial. Without further adieu...
2. Where Lady Pee Hole is located.
I don't think I can explain better than this:
3. We only get a certain amount of eggs.
It's embarrassing to admit this, but I only learned this one a couple weeks ago when my younger sister told me, and my even younger brother confirmed it. Well, don't I feel especially uninformed... But yes! Apparently you're born with a certain number of eggs, and you drop one every menstrual cycle (as I talked about in number one) until you have no eggs left.
I thought your eggs just kind of came into being as you went along in life, and tons of them dropped down every month. What in the world?
4. There are early pregnancy symptoms other than a missed period.
My last blog post was about this, and you can read all about how it's exactly like PMS by clicking here.
5. There are things you should avoid for the sake of your fertility.
Here, let me make you an insanely large list: plastic, plastic shower cyrtains, plastic food containers and storage dishes, caffeine, most herbal teas, green tea, cantaloupe, too much pineapple, chemicals, chemicals in your cleaning products, chemicals in your makeup, being eaten by a dinosaur, chemicals in your food, GMOs, chemicals on your lawn, too much vitamin A, most laundry detergents and soaps, dryer sheets, letting UTIs go on for too long without med attention, antibacterial anything, being struck and killed by lightning, artificial flavors, dyes, tons of exposure to metals, this and that in your lotion and shampoo, more of this, a little more of that, alcohol, hormones in your milk, hormones in your chicken and any other food, whatever it is that makes your yogurt and milk and cheese low fat, low fat everything, sugar, refined carbs, trading your uterus for cash on the black market, stress, lots more things I didn't list, even more of that, etc.
Basically, go organic everything you possibly can.
6. You will have acne for the rest of your existence.
Teenagers all across the world stare out their windows, just dreaming about the day they hit twenty-something, and their pimples are suddenly a distant memory. But actually, I'm almost twenty five, and my acne shows no signs of slowing. It's not a "teenager" thing; it's a "hormone" thing, and adults have hormones, too. Especially women. Sorry, teens. You may cry now.
Adults, you may cry, too. Shh, it's okay...
So, how much of this did you learn in Sex Ed? (Please tell me it's not just me.) What about something you didn't learn that I don't have listed? Comments welcome! You can also find me on Twitter @Je55ieMullin5 or on Facebook. Don't want to make your comment public? That's fine! Feel free to email me at jessie(dot)mullins5(at)gmail(dot)com.
I haven't written on Period Fairy for a while, I know. I've been a little bitter. I mean, yes, I usually do feel bitter about periods just because, well, they suck. But, I mean, I've been especially bitter toward them since I've been trying to have a baby. Because a period is a terribly bitchy mean way for our bodies to tell us we're not pregnant. A simple, "No, try again." would suffice, right? Apparently not...
But I can neglect Period Fairy no longer. So, here's a not-so-bitter *ahem* rant about the difference between early pregnancy and PMS symptoms.
There are none.
Let me set the scene in case you've never been through the dreadful two-week wait:
You've just charted your cycles for the past months/years, so you know when your fertile week is. You know which day you ovulate. You've been taking your vitamins, and doing all the horizontal dancing. You probably even smirked at yourself while you kept your pelvis raised and your legs in the air after, didn't you?
Then it starts. The waiting and wondering. For two weeks you over-analyze every tiny thing your body feels and does. "Oh, my boobs hurt! Yes, I peed so many times today! There's a twinge in my lower abdomen! It took me a bit longer today to do the duty! I cried at that commercial about fabric softener because of my insane hormones! Ooh, all the cravings I have--someone get me something sweet, please! I must be pregnant. All the signs. I just know it. I feel different this time."
For two weeks you feel the the smartest detective on the planet.
And the last few days before the potential period are a frenzy. You might take an early detection at home pregnancy test. It's a negative, but you don't let it dampen your hopes. Maybe just a few more days. And then the spotting starts. And you think, crap, this could be my period...OR IT COULD BE PREGNANCY! My body is just being tricky. Riiiight...I gotcha.
And then your hopes are right back up because you just know you feel all the signs this time.
Except you're completely insane, and you know it, because you know perfectly well that all those signs of pregnancy are also signs that you're getting your monthly reminder that there's nothing in your uterus except sadness. And lots of gore.
And all you can do is wait it out because (especially if you've never been pregnant before) you're not going to know until you know, and it won't be in those two weeks, darling.
But what level of cruelty is it that the symptoms are the same for both? Honestly. Seriously, what even?
So there you have it. Women who have been pregnant before may tell you they felt some signs that were different. Their cramping felt different. They got dizzy. There was morning sickness. They felt a special feeling. But guess what? I've felt all those things, too, and it turns out I was just so hopeful I was delusional or something. Also, your body is not her body, so what might have been true for her may not be for you.
Not at all helpful, right? Exactly! Sorry. No, really, I am. I keep trying to find something helpful that will give me the final clue that will tell me whether or not I am pregnant during those two weeks, but there is nothing.
Thoughts? Did you find the special sauce that told you early? Share your experience either way in the comments below or find me on Twitter @Je55ieMullin5 or on Facebook.
Thanks for reading! May the Period Fairy be gentle with you.
Hello! Before I jump into today's post, I want to thank everyone who reads this blog for your amazing support! It means so much to me. Yay!
And now, as you could tell from the title, for #ThrowbackThursday I'll show you some vintage ads that have to do with periods. First up is my favorite because it's so ridiculous. YOUR GUY WON'T LIKE YOU UNLESS! Enjoy.
So, what do you think about these? Pretty funny, right? We've come so far!
Please leave comments. I would also love it if you showed your support by sharing this blog with your friends, Liking my Facebook Author page here, and Following me on Twitter @Je55ieMullin5. Thanks a ton!
Here's a link to a video I made of the nicknames for periods and vaginas I know of. What are some names I left out? Which names are your favorite? Comment below!
