Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Generic Pads, Why Bleeding Sucks, and Why it Still Rocks to be a Girl: A Guest Post by Heavan

This is Heavan. And this guest post is her second, so let's give her a hot round of applause! (Seriously, do it. Thank you.)

Hello Ladies!

Hope all is well!  I'm very thankful my lovely ginger has invited me to write for period fairy.  I really wanted to talk about a few things on this post, so please forgive me if it's long.  Okay here it goes.
Let me start out by saying my visit from the fairy was a little unexpected.  February always sets my schedule back a week or forward a week in march.  It's always a guess with her.  Anywho, since the visit came unexpected, I was unprepared and very broke.  Enter visit to dollar general where they have two dollar overnight thin pads.  Which is what I use from U by Kotex. Well, for starters, THEY BLOODY SUCK. (pun intended.)  These little buggers stick to EVERYTHING and I mean EVERYTHING.  Now, I've been using them all week, and I have a rash on my bum.  Why?  Apparently they're scented too.  Who DOES that? Anyway, don't ever buy a brand that isn't yours ladies. You might have an itchy butt by the end of the week.

Now onto other things.  The go of the flow! I know, a bit gross, but c'mon ladies let's face it.  Bleeding sucks.  I happen to bleed a little heavily, which I realize isn't "normal", however I know everyone feels like this.  You know, you sit down for a small period of time and then get up and it's like Niagara Falls just erupted in your panties.  Then you freak out, go to the bathroom, and realize it wasn't even that much.  And you feel like a noob because you just had a mini panic attack.  God forbid you wear any light colors.  I once ruined my favorite pair of jeans because of a Niagara falls incident.  Never again.  All black, all week. :D

This may be weird for you ladies, but I want to encourage you to name your uterus's.  It sounds stupid, but let me tell you it's really... therapeutic to be mad at someone rather than someTHING.  I named mine Olga.  She is a very robust, very pissed off woman.  Hence the German name. lol.  So the next time you're on your period and you want that brownie or hot wing, you can simply tell your boyfriend or whoever is listening "SO AND SO IS HUNGRY NOW".  They'll laugh because you named your body part, and know it's okay to be a little casual about something so natural that is a faux pax among society.  Try it.  I promise it helps.  By the way, Olga says hey. She's being the B word right now, so I'm kind of mad at her.

Lastly, I want to share why I love being a woman.  I used to hear my mother complain all the time when i was younger that she wishes she were a dude so she wouldn't have to go through a period.  And let me tell you, though it hurts, I cry WAAAYYY too much, and eat ALL the things...I love it.  I love waking up and being able to put on pretty things and paint my face.  I love putting in earrings and going to get my nails done.  I love gossiping about boys and drinking wine and loving love.  I love it when boys hold open doors and pay for things.  And TELL me I'm pretty.  I love the fact that I can hide when I'm aroused and talk about my boobs more casually than a guy and his junk.  I like being clean and smelling pretty.  I like being held and kissed on the forehead.  I was made to be a girl.  And like it or not girls, you were too.  Embrace it.  Talk with your boyfriends about your cycles and make them as comfortable with them as your girlfriends.  Trust me, my current boyfriend wasn't comfortable, but I made him understand what exactly I go through.  Why I need chocolate and violent video games.  Why one minute I'm laughing because he's hilarious and the next minute I want him out of my sight because I'm being pissy.  And frankly ladies, if he doesn't understand, he doesn't deserve you.  A TRUE gentleman respects EVERYTHING about a woman and wants to make her feel like a princess.  Just sayin'.

That's all for this week lovies.  I'm going to do a shameless plug and tell you to checkout my classygirls blog at heavansentler.blogspot.com; and remember that your visit from the period fairy isn't as bad as you make it out to be.  LOVE LOVE LOVE! :)


Thank you, Heavan, for this! Made me laugh and I coudn't wait to share it.
To my readers, Period Fairy will now come once a month (just like Period Fairy does!...Usually...) instead of once a week. I apologize for any weeping this may cause, but a girl's got to do what a girl's got to do.

Saturday, March 17, 2012

There is Not a Monster in the Closet

My church put on a thing (how vague) today and I had to go into the supply closet for something. There, I looked over, and guess what I spied with my little eyes!?

A box of pads!

They were on a shelf with other various things. The label beneath them read "feminine hygiene". They looked super old and untouched and I didn't even recognize the brand, but...my church has pads! ...In the supply closet, and I'm sure no one knows about them, not even the person who put them there fifty years ago, but...we have them!

So thoughtful. Kind of.