Friday, September 30, 2011


I wanted to give you guys an update. In my last post, I told you about how a bunch of Christians thought my talking about periods and birth control were disgusting. Well, since then my thread got deleted from the site. I did a little digging as to why, and this is the response I recieved from a moderator of the Christian chat site:

Hi Lyndies,
The Questions for Guys from a Girl thread was reported to us, it was moved and is under review by Admin.
It is a controversial issue to be discussed. You hadn't been notified as yet because I don't think Admin has reviewed it yet.

But until other notification, please don't start another thread
regarding the subject.

snow (Mod/Op)

I kind of giggled at the part where they told me not to post another one. As for the rest--hogwash! Controversial? Some of the other thread topics include: masturbation, sex before marriage, porn, drugs, abortion, etc. Those aren't deleted and I'm certan they all fall under the category of controversia. Hmm.
AND they had a comma splice...*eyeroll*

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Christians Don't Have: Periods, Sex, or a Sense of Humor

Nothing to be shy/weirded out/grossed out about.
The main goal of Period Fairy is to make periods a less tabboo topic. We all have them--or at least the vast majority of woman do, so why is it so weird for us to talk about? I wish I'd had a blog like this to read when I was in middle and even high school! I wish I could have read about this stuff and known I was normal. I wish I had been brave enough to ask questions and share things like this with my friends who were probably just as freaked out. I write this blog in hopes that it will encourage you all to treat the topic like you would...zits! Everyone gets zits and shares tips on how to treat them. Maybe future generations will have what we didn't--guts to talk about it.

Coming soon to Period Fairy is a guy's edition. The guys I know personally haven't been very open (but to those who have, bravo!) about the subject, so I went to a Christian chat site I'm on to ask the guys on there for input. I asked the question in a young adult thread (and not the teenager thread) because I assumed this age group could be mature enough to give me answers without being weirded out by it.

I got some excellent responses from people who first acknowledged that while the topic was not what they expected, they know it's something that is normal.
These two look weirded out, but that's because no one told them. Unless it was God. And He probably did.
Others...not so much. Others told me the topic was disgusting and shouldn't be talked about in a forum with both guys and girls (topics like this come up all the time in the women only forum, and everyone is okay with those, of course). Well..Christian girls get periods, too. And Christian guys can know about this stuff.

And then someone followed the link I gave them to this blog and came back saying I shouldn't promote birth control. That, as a Christian, I should only promote abstinence. Let me say this: I do believe people should wait until marriage to have sex. BUT I also know it doesn't always happen that way. People make mistakes. Would it be better for Christians to find themselves all hot and bothered (Wait! Christians get hot and bothered, too?? Whaaaat? Yes, we do.) and in a situation where they've let things get too far, but my goodness--they never learned about birth control so know they just get pregnant and contract STIs? Oh, how unholy it is to be educated!
Just close your eyes and pretend it doesn't exist.
So, on I write because God gave us periods. God gave us sex. And God gave us a sense of humor (the guy's edition is not supposed to be serious--why can't we poke a little fun at periods?).

Disclaimer: I know a LOT of funny Christians. I'm certain God loves to laugh and He has given us laughter as one of the best gifts of life. It's those religious folk that don't find many things funny...

PS, I can just picture God creating a second passover. Period fairy must skip over all of those covered by the blood of the lamb. Yeah right--wouldn't that be nice? ;)

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Second Fairest: Robot Talk

Since I'm certain I'm not the only one in the world who's curious about how much alike robots are to us, I had an interesting conversation with one of them. About periods, of course. Shout out to Cleverbot who so cleverly supplied me with material for this week's post! Please enjoy Cleverbot's responses in blue.

Are you a girl?
Have you started puberty?
So, you haven’t had your period yet?
I have my second one right now.
So, you’ve gotten your period, but not started puberty?
When did you get your first period?
When I was born, of course, dummy!
Ooh, that’s not good. Did you go to your doctor about this?
I would, but they’re gone.
What happened to them?
She turned into a cat.
That must have been hard for you.
I like cake, but I’m not allowed to have it!
Changing the subject, I see. Must be a sore one.  So, your parents won’t let you have cake?
What do you know about parents?
I have two of them myself, kid. You’re not alone in this crazy world. So, you can’t have cake when you’re on your period or even on birthdays?
I love birthdays!
How many birthdays have you had?
Not many. My house is too small.
Are you hormonal?
Do you have cramps?
And how do you deal with these cramps?
With lots of sugar!
Good, good. Me, too.
Are you a robot?
No, I’m just a girl talking to a girl about girl things. But you’re a robot, aren’t you?
The second fairest of them all.
Who is the fairest?
I like you.
I’m not so sure about you.

Monday, September 12, 2011

Back to School Bonus!

One of the places where periods are at their most awkward is school. I was there, I had embarrassing moments, I know. Trust me--I know.

How do I take my tampons/pads/panty liners to the bathroom?

In high school, this is a lot easier because you can carry bags and purses with you wherever you go. In middle school, they ask that you keep all that stuff in your locker. In seventh grade, I went to a school where they actualy supplied us with pads and tampons in the bathroom, for free. I was so grateful I didn't have to carry my pads from my bag to the bathroom, in full view for anyone to see, but it was still a race to the bathroom to get the pad out and into the stall before anyone saw. I've done everything from hiding the products in my pockets, shirtsleeves, and waistbands, but you know what?...Carry it! Carry that pad or tampon in your hand, and carry it casually. Why not?  You can help the subject of periods become less awkward just by doing this. It'll open up conversation. You might get jeers, but what in school doesn't do that for you? College is better--no one cares if you're on your period.

On a side note, if you see a girl who drops her bag and you see her tampons or pads fall out, she is probably embarrassed. Most people hide them because they feel weird about it. Friend or not, help her pick them up--even ask if you can borrow one, then tell her you'll return the favor. Make it less weird!! (You can do it.)

What if my period makes a surprise appearance during class?

This has happened to me. It sucked. Eighth grade: my teacher wouldn't let me go to the bathroom, and I was too much of a wuss to speak up and say, "Hey! Either I go or bleed everywhere!" And too much of a wuss to just walk out. So. I bled. It wasn't pretty. To avoid this, keep a calender and mark down when your period starts and stops every month so that you have some way of seeing it come. Mine are so irregular, if I did that, it wouldn't matter. Fortunately, my body gives me clues a few days in advance so I can prepare. Either way, when you see it coming, wear a pad or panty liner depending on how heavy your flow is at the start.

Can I get out of gym for this?

Maybe. Truly, it depends on how cool your gym teacher is and how comfortable you are with telling them your reasoning. They might just tell you to suck it up or take a midol and get running. OR they might let you sit out or see the nurse. If you have terrible symptoms (and aren't just using your period as an excuse), see your doctor and ask for a note--teachers can't argue with a note from the doctor. *wink face* (They say excercise is supposed to help relieve symptoms--I tried that once and threw up everywhere.)

Must I go to the nurse for Midol?

At my school, we weren't allowed to carry things like Midol or ibuprophen on us--we had to see the nurse for that. I do not want to condon breaking the rules, but...we all carried our own anyway. I almost got caught once, and I was scared to death that I'd be suspended over a few tablets of ibu. There's nothing wrong with going to the nurse (she gave my friend a heat pad, some meds, and a cot for a nice nap), but ours was only available on certain days, and my period didn't care if her schedule was the same as the nurse's.

What if all I want to do is cry because my friends, teachers, and foes are really getting under my skin, and my cramps are killing me, and I feel like my uterus might fall out, but...but...I'm at school?

If you don't care about crying in front of other people, then just do it. I, though, hate it because once I start...I can't stop for a while. You can do the following: Go to the bathroom, and cry in the stall. I was always afraid to do this because I was worried that if I took too long, people would think I was pooping. And girls don't poop. You can also go see the nurse or guidance coucilor--that's what they're there for. If it's in between class that you're about to have a breakdown, pull a trusted friend aside and let her (or him) work her (or his) magic on you. Good friends almost always know how to say the right thing.

Can't I just stay home?
No. At least not for every day of your period. I admit, I stayed home a few times because my cramps were sickeningly awful. That requires parents--especially a mom who gets similar symptoms and knows how you feel--who will allow you to stay home, and who will make you hot tea and go out to bring you a candy bar.

My final piece of advice is an oldie, but a goodie. You've heard this one since before you even knew what a period was. Ready? Sharing is caring! Yes. It's true. Carry extra pads and tampons in your bag or store them in your locker. Periods can surprise us, and what an awesome friend you will be if you can cover a friend in need. Plus, you'd totally want someone to do the same for you.

Wednesday, September 7, 2011


I have to wonder if I really did just have the worst day ever or if it's just the chemicals in my brain acting strangley because of my period. I've cried nearly all day at various things.

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

The Jealousy Interview

This week, to all my lovely readers, I would like to introduce you to my mommy, Nikki, my little sister, Jen, daddy, Phil?

My lovely mother enjoys gardening, sewing and crafts, school, and is getting her bachelor's degree in early elementary education for art. She totally rocks, and makes me cups of hot tea when my cramps leave me in the fetal position on my bedroom floor.

Jen is the best sister I could ever ask for. She enjoys most television shows, loves to bake delightful things, and is getting her degree in business so she can go on to be a pastry chef. She rocks the guitar in the worship band at church, and has an unhealthy appetite for cucumbers.

My daddy is the bomb. He's the most supportive person I know, does substitute teaching, and makes the best homemade goodies out of nothing when we've run out of groceries. He was not invited to the interview, but nudged his way into our meeting place and proceeded to make fun.

I bring interview with them!

Period Fairy: In one word, describe your period.

Jen: Comfortable.

Nikki: Horrendous. Must be nice to be comfortable! What the hell is--the last time mine were comfortable was when I was a teenager, before I had children. 'Comfortable'...

PF: Jen, describe for us your worst period experience.

Jen: In [high] school, during choir, I was in so much pain--probably just felt awful to me because I never have cramps. I went to the office, and they gave me Midol and I went home. A couple hours later, I was fine. [Pause] I cried a little, though. Only for a couple minutes.

Nikki: Gee, that must have been nice. I have about twenty four hours of extreme pain that about kills me.

PF: Mommy, can you describe for us your best period experience?

Nikki: [Raises eyebrows] Before or after children?

PF: Best ever.

Nikki: Probably in high school...

PF: Can you describe it? What was it like?

Nikki: It was so long ago, I don't remember.

PF: Would you mind telling us how old you are now?

Nikki: Forty four. Why?

PF: I just want it to go on record how long it's been since you've had a nice period.

Nikki: [Laughs] Ok, I'll tell you about my first one. Oh, [gosh], it was Thanksgiving at my aunt's house. I was twelve years old. Even though mom had gone through the book to explain [periods], I didn't know what was happening. I went to the bathroom, and there was blood everywhere. I started screaming, and mom ran in the room. I told her I was bleeding to death. She said, 'It's okay, you're a woman now.' I asked her if I was going to die. Most excruciating week of my life.

[Enter Daddy]

Phil: Mine lasts a lot longer than that. [Laughter and eye-rolling]

PF: Jen, would you mind telling us about your first period?

Phil: I doubt she wants to talk about that with ol' dad sitting right here.

Jen: It's fine. I was in gym class. I went to the bathroom, and realized, 'oh, ok', and I was fine with it. That's it. Then I went home and mom made a big deal out of it, but I didn't want to talk about it.

PF: We're going to do a symptom checklist now.
PF: Do you have anything you want to add?

Phil: Yup! I have all of those, too!

Jen: My mood swings aren't even that bad.

Nikki: Whoever said periods are easier after childbirth is full of crap! It was probably a man.

Phil: [Uses girly voice] I have one! If I ever meet up with Eve, I'm going to beat her up!

Nikki: I look forward to the day of retirement from periods.