U by Kotex: You Had Me at Hello

As you know, I adore U by Kotex. Madly. The very reason I love them today is the reason I was drawn to them in the beginning. THOSE COMMERCIALS. Am  I right? What IS it with the white clothes in the field of lilies? Gag. No thanks. Periods are horrendous! The uterus becomes our nemesis. And U by Kotex isn't afraid to say so. Plus, I'm not going to lie...I do love the little black box! It's the new LBD. Go Team U by Kotex! I love being a part of this. So, why do you love your favorite brand?

 

"...Like a flower!"

Yes. Exactly. 

Juliet

I have the pleasure of introducing the lovely readers of Period Fairy to my beautiful niece, Juliet! Juliet is almost three years old, loves Diego, and knows nothing about periods. Duh, she's three. Let it slide, guys. Thing is, she will know about periods one day. She'll learn wherever she looks, whether that is her parents, friends, favorite magazines and TV shows, school, or even her favorite aunt. My hope for Juliet and all future generations is that she will not only absorb what is taught on the subjects of periods and vaginal health, but that she will ask questions! That she will talk with her friends about it. This is why I'm with U by Kotex and Generation Know, breaking the cycle of awkward whispers and smuggled products into public restrooms. Let's be open about this now so that when Juliet hits The Age, it's not a weird shame thing. Periods are normal. For Juliet, let's start the change now.

Short but Helpful Period Advice

Period hint no. 113:

Don't try to break in a new pair of jeans while on your period. You'll just end up feeling fat because you're bloated, and then you'll cry.

Get in the Know: Sharks Don't Care

Look, I tried for, like, an hour to make a video of me showing of my Generation Know bracelet! But...my internet is being slow, so the video was a no go. Here, instead, you have this fantastically blurry picture. The little charm on the bracelet says, "I know" in case you don't know how to read blur.

"I know" what? How much my internet connection doesn't care if I'm long overdue on making a post? Yes, but other things, too. Much cooler things, like...

I know...

You're not more likely to get mauled by a bear while on your period! Good news, especially for those of us who often kind ourselves in the company of bears.

You can't lose your virginity just by using a tampon. 

Guys can't tell when you're on your period! Unless you, say, cry over a plate of spaghetti and ask them if you look bloated and ugly today because it's, you know, that time of the month, and you feel really bloated and ugly.

You will not get attacked by a shark while on your period because sharks have better things to do. What that might be, I'm not entirely sure...

No one has ever gotten an STD/STI from a toilet seat.

You can totally get pregnant on your period!

Coffee can actually make your cramps worse during your period. Sad face. Not for me because I drink tea, but maybe sad face for you. 

Bananas will make you feel better while you're moping along during your period!

Spinach doesn't shorten your period. (I've never even heard that it could...) In fact, no food does. 

You can have sex on your period if you're into it. 

How do I know this stuff? Oh, no big deal, really, but maybe you've heard of Generation Know! You should have at least heard of it because I mentioned it at the start of this post, duh. Generation Know is...well, here. This video will explain it! 

You really should go check out their site! I mean it. Don't even finish reading this. Go! Go on, get. (I'm trying to White Fang you because it's in your best interest to check it out, and that's what true love is.) Plus, you can get a (free!) bracelet just like the one I have, minus the blur.  

One of my favorite features on the site is called Dear Little Sister. You might be able to guess what it is by the name, but on this part of their super fantastic site, you can write little notes to your "little sister" i.e. all the girls who haven't started their periods yet and might not know what to expect. This is especially cool because every time a note is written, UbyKotex donates $1 to Girls for a Change, a non profit that empowers girls to reach their full potential. How can you not want to write a note now? It's so easy! Dear Little Sister:

I got my period when I was twelve. I didn't talk to any of my friends about, which made it Weird. It's only awkward if you make it awkward. Talk about it!

Periods suck, but you will live.

Sometimes it feels like my uterus is trying to fall out of my Vagina.

Please don't cringe at the word "vagina". It's not a dirty, so don't treat it as such. 

Stuff like that. 

I encourage you all to be more open with one another about your periods and vaginas...vaginae? Is the plural of vagina really vaginae?? That's what my spell check tells me...Anyway.  Ask questions! Get in the know. Knowledge is power. 

Thank you for reading! And if you're still here, maybe I can White Fang you with this gem. (I tried to get the actual part where Schmidt White Fangs Cece, but this is all YouTube had. Someone get on that.) 

  #iknow

Breakup Lyric

Period Fairy here! I haven't posted in a while--sorry about your tears.

U by Kotex had a sweet breakup song thing on Facebook. As you might guess, people were writing breakup songs about pads or tampons that have failed/embarrassed them. Yesterday U by Kotex asked us, the fans, to write a lyric for someone named Sarah to use in her next breakup song. A randomly selected lyric writer would win one free U by Kotex product.

Here's what I wrote:

My face wasn't the only thing you made red. 

And then here's a short video for you to enjoy. It's me! Doing a happy dance. Contain yourself--it's pretty impressive.

So, uh...what's up with that? ...I WAS THE RANDOMLY SELECTED LYRIC WRITER! Hooray!

Give me some lyrics of your own! Email them to jessie(dot)mullins5(at)gmail(dot)com or leave them in a comment below! COME ON! Get creative. Have fun. I'll feature them all in the next blog post.

Much love,
Period Fairy

P.S. Breaking the cycle totally pays. I'm gettin' some free tampons, suckas!

BONUS PICTURE!

Generic Pads, Why Bleeding Sucks, and Why it Still Rocks to be a Girl: A Guest Post by Heavan

This is Heavan. And this guest post is her second, so let's give her a hot round of applause! (Seriously, do it. Thank you.)

Hello Ladies!

Hope all is well!  I'm very thankful my lovely ginger has invited me to write for period fairy.  I really wanted to talk about a few things on this post, so please forgive me if it's long.  Okay here it goes.
Let me start out by saying my visit from the fairy was a little unexpected.  February always sets my schedule back a week or forward a week in march.  It's always a guess with her.  Anywho, since the visit came unexpected, I was unprepared and very broke.  Enter visit to dollar general where they have two dollar overnight thin pads.  Which is what I use from U by Kotex. Well, for starters, THEY BLOODY SUCK. (pun intended.)  These little buggers stick to EVERYTHING and I mean EVERYTHING.  Now, I've been using them all week, and I have a rash on my bum.  Why?  Apparently they're scented too.  Who DOES that? Anyway, don't ever buy a brand that isn't yours ladies. You might have an itchy butt by the end of the week.

Now onto other things.  The go of the flow! I know, a bit gross, but c'mon ladies let's face it.  Bleeding sucks.  I happen to bleed a little heavily, which I realize isn't "normal", however I know everyone feels like this.  You know, you sit down for a small period of time and then get up and it's like Niagara Falls just erupted in your panties.  Then you freak out, go to the bathroom, and realize it wasn't even that much.  And you feel like a noob because you just had a mini panic attack.  God forbid you wear any light colors.  I once ruined my favorite pair of jeans because of a Niagara falls incident.  Never again.  All black, all week. :D

This may be weird for you ladies, but I want to encourage you to name your uterus's.  It sounds stupid, but let me tell you it's really... therapeutic to be mad at someone rather than someTHING.  I named mine Olga.  She is a very robust, very pissed off woman.  Hence the German name. lol.  So the next time you're on your period and you want that brownie or hot wing, you can simply tell your boyfriend or whoever is listening "SO AND SO IS HUNGRY NOW".  They'll laugh because you named your body part, and know it's okay to be a little casual about something so natural that is a faux pax among society.  Try it.  I promise it helps.  By the way, Olga says hey. She's being the B word right now, so I'm kind of mad at her.

Lastly, I want to share why I love being a woman.  I used to hear my mother complain all the time when i was younger that she wishes she were a dude so she wouldn't have to go through a period.  And let me tell you, though it hurts, I cry WAAAYYY too much, and eat ALL the things...I love it.  I love waking up and being able to put on pretty things and paint my face.  I love putting in earrings and going to get my nails done.  I love gossiping about boys and drinking wine and loving love.  I love it when boys hold open doors and pay for things.  And TELL me I'm pretty.  I love the fact that I can hide when I'm aroused and talk about my boobs more casually than a guy and his junk.  I like being clean and smelling pretty.  I like being held and kissed on the forehead.  I was made to be a girl.  And like it or not girls, you were too.  Embrace it.  Talk with your boyfriends about your cycles and make them as comfortable with them as your girlfriends.  Trust me, my current boyfriend wasn't comfortable, but I made him understand what exactly I go through.  Why I need chocolate and violent video games.  Why one minute I'm laughing because he's hilarious and the next minute I want him out of my sight because I'm being pissy.  And frankly ladies, if he doesn't understand, he doesn't deserve you.  A TRUE gentleman respects EVERYTHING about a woman and wants to make her feel like a princess.  Just sayin'.

That's all for this week lovies.  I'm going to do a shameless plug and tell you to checkout my classygirls blog at heavansentler.blogspot.com; and remember that your visit from the period fairy isn't as bad as you make it out to be.  LOVE LOVE LOVE! :)

...

Thank you, Heavan, for this! Made me laugh and I coudn't wait to share it.
To my readers, Period Fairy will now come once a month (just like Period Fairy does!...Usually...) instead of once a week. I apologize for any weeping this may cause, but a girl's got to do what a girl's got to do.

There is Not a Monster in the Closet

My church put on a thing (how vague) today and I had to go into the supply closet for something. There, I looked over, and guess what I spied with my little eyes!?

A box of pads!

They were on a shelf with other various things. The label beneath them read "feminine hygiene". They looked super old and untouched and I didn't even recognize the brand, but...my church has pads! ...In the supply closet, and I'm sure no one knows about them, not even the person who put them there fifty years ago, but...we have them!

So thoughtful. Kind of.