What's That...White Stuff?

My mom told me all about periods and childbirth and what to expect. The thing she never talked to me about was...

Discharge.

I eventually got over thinking there was something wrong with me, and accepted it as normal just because...well, during certain stages in a cycle, it's always there. It wasn't until I picked one of those little pockets books about changing bodies in Barnes and Noble that I really knew it was something every woman has. It was written by the writers of Cosmopolitan magazine. They also talk quite a bit about it on U by Kotex. This is a link to an article from them called The Details on Discharge.

So, what is it? That white stuff on your underwear is what your vagina secretes to keep itself clean. During certain times of the month, it's a little heavier than usual. That is normal--just grab a panty liner, and you'll be fine.

One day, I was in the dollar store, buying a package of panty liners for this very reason. My sister (two years younger than me) asked why I was getting those. I said, "Well, woman have discharge. It's normal, and I'm buying these so I don't have to keep changing my underwear." That's how I got over the awkwardness of talking about it.

Discharge is also a great tool your body uses to let you know whether or not everything is healthy down there or if you might have some sort of infection. Every woman's body is different, but you will know if yours is a little off. If so, just go see your doctor.

You know, I've known I should make a post about discharge for a while now, but it was the weirdest topic for me to talk about. So I waited. Now, though, it doesn't seem that weird. I'm actually excited for you girls and guys to read this!

Puberty Via Facebook was submitted to me by Anonymous.

 

I Miss You, Cycle

Here's something I wrote last year. Inspiration: I was on my stupid period, away from home, and missing my boyfriend. So, I wrote this ridiculous poem. Please enjoy.

Cycle   (4/2/10)

Why do I love

you so much when it hurts

like menstrual cramps?

But there’s no pill, no

bit of chocolate that

soothes the ebbing tide.

Pardon the imagery, but

if my heart didn’t beat so

rapidly as you cause it,

perhaps the flow wouldn’t

create such pain and leave

me reminded of you. Vicious

cycle! No padding in the world

could absorb the tears that fall

when I miss you like this.

Crazy? Overdramatic? Nasty imagery? Nahh.

Got questions? Funny or embarrassing stories? Comment here (you can do it anonymously) or send your stuff to me at jessie.pratley.blog@gmail.com  

Second (and Third) Puberty?

My periods have sucked and been irregular since the beginning. They lasted the full seven days and I had warning cramps for up to a week before it's arrival. On the first day, my uterus felt like it might explode if it didn't try to fall out first. All this was sometimes accompanied by puking.

And then I turned twenty years old.

My periods changed suddenly--went from seven days long to only about four! Imagine the niceness of that. Yes...quite nice. (If you can truly give any period that description.) My cramps died down a bit so that I sometimes didn't even need to pig out on chocolate and take 800 miligrams of ibu.

And then came year twenty one.

Everything went back to how it was before with the acception of two completely depised additions: Moodiness and Fatigue. I hate those two dastardly vllains.

Why the change? I call it my second and third puberty, but really...my body's never been able to make up it's mind. My cycle either isn't a cycle at all or has it's own idea of what a cycle should be.

Takeaway note: The period is just as individual is the woman it belongs to.

Dear Men was submitted to me by Anonymous. Send me your peoms, pictures, videos, comics, etc. about periods to jessie.pratley.blog@gmail.com

   

Guys Aren't Dumb

First off, I dedicate this post to my dear friend, P. Matt because he refuses to read my "girl problem blog". Who even says a period is a problem? (Only me and tons of other girls because it bloody hurts! Get it...bloody?)

Ok, for real. That was just to gross him out a bit in case he sucks it up and reads this.

I didn't have to tell my boyfriend when I was on my period was because he figured it out. Not because I was moody or said anything to the effect of  "It's that time of the month again". Gosh, no.

He just pieced together the pieces. I wouldn't go swimming on certain days around the same time every monh. (Had I not heard of tampons?? I guess not by that point.) Puzzle solved. Guys know what's what--they just don't want to talk about it. Why, I'm not so sure. Maybe because we've made it to sound like some nasty disease that must never be spoken of.

Let's change that, yeah?

Sleeeepy.

This menstrual fatigue is killing me! I feel like I can hardly make myself do anything.

This period particularly sucks.

Ridiculous Things I've Heard about Periods

1) They're icky. Ickier than boys.

2) When you're on your period, keep it more secret than any secret you currently have.

3) People can tell when you're on your period. (See the contradiction there? What's the point of keeping it secret if people can tell?)

4) Every woman turns into a homicidal, man-hating, banshee when she's on her period.

5) We don't want to make out, touch hands, or have our guys within five feet of us when we're on our period.

6) You shouldn't wear white.

7) For the love of all human kind, do not say the actual word "period"!

8) We wish we were born with different parts one week a month.

9) If you use tampons, it means you're no longer a virgin.

10) Periods simply suck and there's nothing we can do about it but pig out and lounge in our pajamjams all day.

11) It is, one hundred percent, Eve's fault that we bear so much pain once a month and during childbirth. (Adam had something to do with it, too. Hehe. And if they didn't bite that forbidden piece of fruit, dang it, their children would have.)

12) Guys don't need to hear about this stuff. Ever.

13) Getting your first period automatically, as if menses was some kind of magical occurrence, makes you a woman.

14) Hide hide HIDE those pads and tampons deep inside your purse so no one can ever see them!

15) When you're old enough to stop getting periods, you lose a part of what it means to be a woman.

All these stone-age beliefs do is hold us back and keep periods a taboo. It's okay to talk about it. It's okay to not act like a wicked witch while you're on it. You're officially a woman when you reach a point in your life when you feel like one, and it doesn't stop when you no longer have your period. Guys should know about this stuff. None of it is anything to be ashamed of. You're a virgin until you have sex. No need to hide your pads or tampons--you wouldn't hide a band aid, would you? You can wear white--just make darn sure you're covered.

Shake it up. Talk about it like you talk about anything else. Educate people. If we do this, sooner or later, young girls getting their first period won't be as mortified as you and I were.

Period Panties

Here's a tip for all you lovely ladies: Have a pair (or two or three) of period panties!

Period Panties [peer-ee-uhd pan-tees] noun: underwear  you've had for such a time  you don't care about whether or not they get blood stains on them. i.e. "Oh, these old things? I've had these for years. Yeah, they're stained--I don't really care."

Let's be blunt here. Sometimes periods show up unannounced. (Especially if you're irregular, like me, and your cycle has a cycle.) Other times, you think you're covered, but then you see that your favorite band is playing near you, and you jump around the room in joy, resulting in leakage. Now and then, those pads and tampons downright fail us.

For all those reasons, I designate a pair of my knickers as period panties. I wear these underwear on the first day of my period, since that's when "Aunt Flow" (GOSH, I'd like to know who came up with that name) is at her heaviest. That way I don't get my cutest pair of underwear stained and sad.

So, ladies, there is one of my personal tricks for you. Leave some comments about tricks of your own or email them to me at jessie.pratley.blog@gmail.com! I'd love to hear them.