Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Perfect Bloody Timing

If ever there was an example of perfect timing, this is it: Sitting down on the loo to pee and then comes the period. Right at that moment.

It was the most perfect example of perfect timing in my life because for the past week I've had tiny hints of cramps, so I knew it was coming and I've been wearing pads in anticipation. (Better prepared than bloody, I always say.) And then I went to bed last night without first putting on a pad. I got all cozy in my blankies and thought, "Oh, crap." But I didn't care enough to get up. Tsk tsk.

So imagine my many thanks to God when I woke up and went to pee and there it was! When instead it could have come just ten minutes earlier, and that would have been bloody sad. Though I was wearing an old pair of knickers....

It's so convenient that the British use the word "bloody" all the time (or at least Ron Weasly, bless his cuteness, does) so I can make all the bloody puns I want for Period Fairy. Plus, then, it's perfectly normal of me to also use the words "loo" and "knickers", which I love.

Bloody hell! Don't mention me in a period blog!

Periods really do pull the world together. It's kind of like gravity. Right? Without periods, we'd all float off to space...

(I know I promised an embarrassing story of my first time using a tampon this week, but I had to tell you all about this. And you've waited this long, right? One more week won't kill you.)

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