Friday, June 15, 2012

Breakup Lyric

Period Fairy here! I haven't posted in a while--sorry about your tears.

U by Kotex had a sweet breakup song thing on Facebook. As you might guess, people were writing breakup songs about pads or tampons that have failed/embarrassed them. Yesterday U by Kotex asked us, the fans, to write a lyric for someone named Sarah to use in her next breakup song. A randomly selected lyric writer would win one free U by Kotex product.

Here's what I wrote:

My face wasn't the only thing you made red. 

And then here's a short video for you to enjoy. It's me! Doing a happy dance. Contain yourself--it's pretty impressive.

video


So, uh...what's up with that? ...I WAS THE RANDOMLY SELECTED LYRIC WRITER! Hooray!

Give me some lyrics of your own! Email them to jessie(dot)mullins5(at)gmail(dot)com or leave them in a comment below! COME ON! Get creative. Have fun. I'll feature them all in the next blog post.

Much love,
Period Fairy

P.S. Breaking the cycle totally pays. I'm gettin' some free tampons, suckas!

BONUS PICTURE!






Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Generic Pads, Why Bleeding Sucks, and Why it Still Rocks to be a Girl: A Guest Post by Heavan

This is Heavan. And this guest post is her second, so let's give her a hot round of applause! (Seriously, do it. Thank you.)

Hello Ladies!

Hope all is well!  I'm very thankful my lovely ginger has invited me to write for period fairy.  I really wanted to talk about a few things on this post, so please forgive me if it's long.  Okay here it goes.
Let me start out by saying my visit from the fairy was a little unexpected.  February always sets my schedule back a week or forward a week in march.  It's always a guess with her.  Anywho, since the visit came unexpected, I was unprepared and very broke.  Enter visit to dollar general where they have two dollar overnight thin pads.  Which is what I use from U by Kotex. Well, for starters, THEY BLOODY SUCK. (pun intended.)  These little buggers stick to EVERYTHING and I mean EVERYTHING.  Now, I've been using them all week, and I have a rash on my bum.  Why?  Apparently they're scented too.  Who DOES that? Anyway, don't ever buy a brand that isn't yours ladies. You might have an itchy butt by the end of the week.

Now onto other things.  The go of the flow! I know, a bit gross, but c'mon ladies let's face it.  Bleeding sucks.  I happen to bleed a little heavily, which I realize isn't "normal", however I know everyone feels like this.  You know, you sit down for a small period of time and then get up and it's like Niagara Falls just erupted in your panties.  Then you freak out, go to the bathroom, and realize it wasn't even that much.  And you feel like a noob because you just had a mini panic attack.  God forbid you wear any light colors.  I once ruined my favorite pair of jeans because of a Niagara falls incident.  Never again.  All black, all week. :D

This may be weird for you ladies, but I want to encourage you to name your uterus's.  It sounds stupid, but let me tell you it's really... therapeutic to be mad at someone rather than someTHING.  I named mine Olga.  She is a very robust, very pissed off woman.  Hence the German name. lol.  So the next time you're on your period and you want that brownie or hot wing, you can simply tell your boyfriend or whoever is listening "SO AND SO IS HUNGRY NOW".  They'll laugh because you named your body part, and know it's okay to be a little casual about something so natural that is a faux pax among society.  Try it.  I promise it helps.  By the way, Olga says hey. She's being the B word right now, so I'm kind of mad at her.

Lastly, I want to share why I love being a woman.  I used to hear my mother complain all the time when i was younger that she wishes she were a dude so she wouldn't have to go through a period.  And let me tell you, though it hurts, I cry WAAAYYY too much, and eat ALL the things...I love it.  I love waking up and being able to put on pretty things and paint my face.  I love putting in earrings and going to get my nails done.  I love gossiping about boys and drinking wine and loving love.  I love it when boys hold open doors and pay for things.  And TELL me I'm pretty.  I love the fact that I can hide when I'm aroused and talk about my boobs more casually than a guy and his junk.  I like being clean and smelling pretty.  I like being held and kissed on the forehead.  I was made to be a girl.  And like it or not girls, you were too.  Embrace it.  Talk with your boyfriends about your cycles and make them as comfortable with them as your girlfriends.  Trust me, my current boyfriend wasn't comfortable, but I made him understand what exactly I go through.  Why I need chocolate and violent video games.  Why one minute I'm laughing because he's hilarious and the next minute I want him out of my sight because I'm being pissy.  And frankly ladies, if he doesn't understand, he doesn't deserve you.  A TRUE gentleman respects EVERYTHING about a woman and wants to make her feel like a princess.  Just sayin'.

That's all for this week lovies.  I'm going to do a shameless plug and tell you to checkout my classygirls blog at heavansentler.blogspot.com; and remember that your visit from the period fairy isn't as bad as you make it out to be.  LOVE LOVE LOVE! :)


...

Thank you, Heavan, for this! Made me laugh and I coudn't wait to share it.
To my readers, Period Fairy will now come once a month (just like Period Fairy does!...Usually...) instead of once a week. I apologize for any weeping this may cause, but a girl's got to do what a girl's got to do.

Saturday, March 17, 2012

There is Not a Monster in the Closet

My church put on a thing (how vague) today and I had to go into the supply closet for something. There, I looked over, and guess what I spied with my little eyes!?

A box of pads!

They were on a shelf with other various things. The label beneath them read "feminine hygiene". They looked super old and untouched and I didn't even recognize the brand, but...my church has pads! ...In the supply closet, and I'm sure no one knows about them, not even the person who put them there fifty years ago, but...we have them!

So thoughtful. Kind of.


 


Tuesday, January 24, 2012

My First Time Using a Tampon

I was in tenth grade when I used my first tampon. I explained in this post why it was at this point I wanted to go from wearing pads to using tampons. I mulled it over for a while before I decided to use them, weighing whether or not it was worth the risk of TSS to have comfort and to feel clean. If you follow the link above, I talk about all the pros and cons there. I finally decided...Yup! Tampons.

Tampons are my friends! So cute. I want one...

I was at Walmart with my parents when I bought them. I remember saying, "I need some feminine products." Back then I was so shy about periods and thought that was less weird-sounding than, "I need some tampons."

My dad said, "What do you mean? Like makeup?"

I was mortified. And then, to make it worse, my mom said, "No, I think she means pads." 

"No," I said, "I want to try tampons this time." I also wanted to die from embarrassment because I had to say the word out loud. (Boohoo, right?)

But wait, there's more! My mom got all weird, and was like, "Do you know how to...you have to..."
"Ahh! Stop talking about it!" I said. "I'll figure it out."

And I did because the box of tampons I bought--Tampax Pearl--came with instructions (as does every box in every brand, so far as I know).


Thing is...I didn't put my first tampon in all the way. So when I stood up afterward and walked around, I could feel it. That's not supposed to happen.

And it freaked me out so much I passed out in the kitchen.

That's not even the worst part.

My boyfriend was over that day. Yup. Which, I mean, wouldn't even be a bad thing if it weren't for the following few minutes.

My mom found me on the kitchen floor, seconds after I passed out, and asked me what happened. Because I didn't wan to give her the secret real answer, I mumbled something about my period.  

She walked me into the living room and told me to lie down. My boyfriend sat down next to me and asked if I was okay just at the same moment his mom knocked on my door. I don't remember why. But she came in and saw that I looked awful and asked what was wrong. Then my mom chimed in with, "Oh, it's just woman stuff. We won't mention it in front of Gary." Gary being my boyfriend. And I know she was trying to be discreet for my sake, but I'd rather she just said it outright because the obvious secrecy was so...embarrassing. Like..duh! He knows what you mean by that. And then she said, "Maybe Gary should go home since Jessie's not feeling well."

And he left.

I'm over it now. Obviously, or I wouldn't be sharing. 

If you're unsure how to insert a tampon, like I was, here's an instructional video by U by Kotex:





Was your first time using a tampon easy or does your story sound like mine? Leave a comment below or email Period Fairy at jessie(dot)mullins5(at)gmail(dot)com!

Lots of love,
Jessie

@Je55ieMullin5

Tuesday, January 17, 2012

I Heard it in the Library

While sitting in the library, I heard the most delightful sentence float through the air from afar. You'll never guess what it was. Or maybe you will since you are reading this post on a blog called Period Fairy.

"We were talking about vaginal bleeding."

That was the sentence. My sister is sitting next to me. We froze. I looked at her and asked if she heard what I heard. She nodded. No shame, loud and clear--vaginal bleeding.

Rock on, whoever said that across the library. Rock on.

This guy heard it, too. Shock Face.


Do you have a fun/tragic/embarrassing/hilarious/helpful story about period or vaginal health? Email me at jessie(dot)mullins5(at)gmail(dot)com. It could be featured in Period Fairy!

Wednesday, January 4, 2012

VAGINA!

I get tickled with joy whenever I hear that word (vagina!) in movies. We can say that now!! Vagina. So, every time I hear it, I will post the clip for you to enjoy as well.


Period Fairy hopes you all had a wonderful Christmas (or whatever you celebrate) and wishes you a fantastic new year full of health, humor, love, and other good stuff.

We should all get shirts like this! And if you don't have a vagina...well? Wear it anyway??